Oh dear. My poor French teacher. We’ve been learning(ish) si-clauses in French. There are three types, each with different tenses, none of which any of us understand. In each case though, translated, they mean “If___, then ___.” So to help us learn the tenses, she had her AP French class write story with si-clauses. Everyone started off with (translated) “If she is sad, then she will…” and they went from there. Following is a chain from a few of my favorite si-clause stories. My poor French teacher read them all aloud before she actually realized what she was reading to us ever so impressionable young sophomores.
“If she is sad, she will not be happy. If she is not happy, she will be sad. If she is sad, she will not be happy. If she is not happy, she will be sad. If she is sad, she will not be happy…”. You get the picture.
“If she is sad, she will want to be with people. If she wants to be with people, she will go to a party. If she goes to a party, she will get drunk. If she gets drunk, she will have wild crazy sex. If she has wild crazy sex, she will have a baby. If she has a baby, she will be sad. If she is sad, she will want to be with people. If she wants to be with people, she will go to a party. If she goes to a party, she will get drunk. If she gets drunk, she will have wild crazy sex. If she has wild crazy sex, she will have a baby. If she has a baby, she will be sad…” You get the picture again.
“If she is sad, she will go get high. If she goes and gets high, she will come in contact with drug dealers. If she comes in contact with drug dealers, she will have a run-in with the cops. If she has a run-in with the cops, she will get shot in a gunfight. If she gets shot in a gunfight, she will die. If she dies, she will have drugs every day. If she has drugs every day, she will be happy. The end.”
I don’t know if you found them funny, but hearing them in French and knowing they were written by the current seniors, and seeing my French teacher’s face when she saw where each one was going, was really priceless. It kind of made my day. Teehee. Hee.
